Someone you love...
and someone who loves you
„Could you please not...!“ Abel's voice raised in anger. He didn't understand his brothers at all. It was Christmas and instead of wanting to celebrate Christmas Eve together with their brother like normal people did Cain and Seth had better plans.
The one wanted nothing more than alcohol, cigarettes and nice girls. The other felt similar to the older one – but instead of wanting girls and alcohol he preferred males and sweets. So both of his brothers had nothing in mind than fucking their brains out – drunk or sober doesn't really matter at that point anymore.
And this attitude made Abel really angry. It's not the problem that both want to go out to have sex, but that they want to do it especially on Christmas. He thought that at least once in a year his brothers could be like a family to him and show their love for Abel – but it seems like he wanted to much.
Just when Abel was about to start a new sentence, asking them to maybe overthink their plans and that he really wished for celebrating Christmas together, he was interrupted by some knocks at their dorm door.
„Ah!“, Cain exclamined. „Those must be the girls I invented! Hope they brought enough alcohol and didn't forget about the condoms...“ The blackhaired boy scratched himself at the back of his head before he crawled out from Abel's bed to go and open the door.
„Hello there, ladies~“ Cain put on his seductive, macholike face. Abel knew it without really looking. „It was about time that you came! I hardly could wait anymore...“ With that the girls, around 4 or 5, walked in, made themself feel at home.
That's when Seth jumped down from the top bunk to leave. „I am off now! I can't watch this...“ The white headed boy put on his shoes and jacked and left. Without any word Abel did the same – he didn't want to see that embarrassing scene.
„Where should i go now...“, Abel wondered while walking through the streets of the town he was living in. It was early afternoon and pretty cold. It's about to snow..., Abel thought. „In any case, it still is Christmas... most people are at home with their family or do things like Cain...“ The boy sighed. Why is noone here who thinks like me...? I want to be around people who love me and who I love... Is that so outdated?
Abel just realised that he doesn't really know anyone in this town beside his brothers. And they really don't care about Abel's wishes at all... The blonde also noticed that even if he knew anyone here he couldn't ring at someone's door, asking them to let him join their Christmas Eve celebration, can't he?
He never could.
Getting really sad Abel sat down on a bench which stood next to some trees, making that part of the town look pretty nice. „Okay, let's think again: Who do I know in this town?“ Although he just decided that he couldn't disturb anyones Christmas Party he didn't want to be alone in the cold now as well.
„Apart from my brothers I am supposed to know my classmates, right?“ Abel sighed. „I never exchanged any word with the most of them... I don't even know their names...“ But suddenly a picture of a green haired guy flew through his mind.
Although Aaron, or Mister Green Guy like Cain called him, seemed to be pretty unfriendly and rowdy-like he had always been nice to Abel. He even lend him his shirt when Abel made his own dirty with food!
„Right! I never gave him back that shirt!“, the blond haired boy remembered. „But I can't go back to get it either... So I only have the option of visiting him without any reason, hoping he wouldn't get mad...“
While thinking about this possibility more he started to believe that Aaron was his only option – if he wanted to get out of the cold weather and not return to his dorm. „Wasn't he living somewhere around here? I believe Isabella meantioned something like that when she talked to Seth some time ago...“
Remembering the streetname and number Aaron's sister had said, Abel stood up from the bench to start his way to their flat. It was getting dark already, snow was beginning to fall from the white sky as Abel has predicted. „White Christmas...“, Abel sighed. „It is beautiful...“
The boy was insanely nervous. Abel didn't even know the exact reason why he was. Was it because he was disturbing someone he barely knew at Christmas Eve? Because he was trying to celebrate this very holiday with a guy he only spoke around 5 sentences with? Or was it just because this person needed a damn of a lot time to open up the door he rang the bell at about five minutes ago?
The blonde haired boy took a deep breath when he finally heard footsteps at the other side of the entrance – so Aaron was at home! He felt his hope to not be alone this day grow strong inside of him again.
Abel's classmate checked the peephole first before opening the door to his and Isabella's flat. „What are you doing here?“, was the only thing coming from his mouth, bringing the uneasiness Abel felt before back, although the taller boy was just trying to tease him.
It seemed like Aaron just came out of the shower, his hair dripping with water, a towel hanging around his shoulders. That was probably the reason why he took so long to answer the door. „Aren't you supposed to celebrate Christmas with your family like normal people do?“
The younger boy hesitated for a second before breathing out and whispering, „Look who's talking...“ Abel let out a small laugh. „It seems like you aren't celebrating yourself either...“ He didn't dare to look Aaron in the face at first, frightened about what kind of emotion he was showing, but after he heard a short chuckle Abel looked up.
„You're right about that. So... what did you come for, Abel?“ The green haired guy now seemed to be interested in the reason for his classmate to show up at this date, the teasing voice he used in the beginning was completely gone by now. With a small gesture he asked Abel to access his flat and let him to his own room after the younger one got rid of his shoes.
„I just searched for a place to stay until my stupid brothers have gone back to being normal again...“, Abel admitted without hiding his anger while the boys reached the surprisingly clean room of Aaron. Apart from some magazines and clothes scattered around the bed and floor the blonde expected it to be much more chaotic.
„So... what did they do this time?“, Aaron asked, rubbing the back of his head. „When I first saw your twin brother I knew he would mean trouble... same goes for that whitehead... - Ah, please, make yourself feel at home and sit where you want.“, the bigger boy offered.
But suddenly, Abel came to an halt. „Wait!“, he exclamained. „Am I disturbing you? I mean... it's Christmas... what were your plans for today?“ The taller boy let himself fell onto his bed, which made a loud cracking sound. „My plans for today? You mean like... how I celebrate Christmas?“ Abel nodded.
„Basically just sitting in my bed, watching movies and eventually open the present Isa gave me before she left for visiting her friends who she celebrates today's Eve with.“, Aaron explained. „So... you're not disturbing in any way.“ A warm smile followed his words which made Abel feel a lot more at ease and he sat down next to his classmate.
„You see...“, Abel began, „... I might be a little old fashioned among us young boys but I do believe Christmas should be celebrated among family or people who you love. It's just that I am alone with this opinion in my family.“
„All Cain thinks about is alcohol, cigarettes and girls. And as far as Seth is concerned... I don't even want to know the details, but if I am right it isn't any better than Cain's idea of how to spend this day.“ Abel let out a loud sigh.
„So the boys threw you out?“ The blonde shook his head slowly. „No, I left when Cain's girls arrived with the drinks...“
„I didn't know where to go and what to do... Spending Christmas alone in the cold wasn't the best plan either, so I kept thinking and ended up here.“ Aaron was happy about that, he couldn't hide it. Sure, the green haired boy had some friends, but he never experienced something like that. A person visiting him out of the blue when he didn't know what else to do. „Why me of all people?“, he wondered.
„Or did you expect meeting Isa here?“ Aaron's brows furrowed at that idea – not that he would mind if boys were interested in Isabella, even less when it's somebody like Abel who seemed to be a very nice and responsible guy! But he didn't want to give up the nice feeling he got when he thought he himself and not the sister was the reason Abel's chosen to visit.
„It wasn't because of Isabella...“ Abel looked up and met the brown eyes of the boy next to him. „You are the only one I can say I know - apart from my brothers... At least I have had some conversation with you before...“ Aaron's lips spreaded into a wide smile. „Okay! I don't particularily mind. In contrary, I am happy you've chosen me – “ The voice of the taller boy became pretty enthusiastic, happiness shining all over his face. „Having someone around you at this very day sure is nice.“ The blonde boy nodded slightly.
„I don't have something like a bond connecting me and my family...“ Aaron suddenly added, his voice now quiet and deep. „I only have Isa who I care for very much.“ His eyes wandered to a picture standing on the top of the boys desk, showing him and his sister together with another boy with ginger hair. „But she is like your brothers in this case – preferring to party instead of staying at home with her family and show how much you love them...“
The green haired boy took his sight off of the picture and leaned back, lying down on the bed, facing the ceiling. „I don't mind her doing so, tho. She's free to spread her wings at any time, I don't want to be a burden to her.“
„You do love your sister a lot, don't you?“, Abel noticed. He didn't know how his brothers felt about him, but he guessed that they didn't care much about him. Sure, there were some moments when Cain wasn't as stupid and egoistic as usual, but he didn't feel loved. Not the way he felt Aaron's love towards Isabella.
„I do. She is all I have left.“ The older boy took a big breath and looked from the ceiling back to Abel. „And you?“ The boy hesitated before answering with a small nod. „I love them, too. At least they are my family and even with their faults they are worth loving.“
Abel's eyes looked sadder after a little pause. „Although, I can't say we have a bond like you and Isabella...“
„Sooooo....“ Sitting up again while rising his voice in a playful tone, „... we came her to celebrate Christmas, didn't we? So lets stop that and get to the good part!“, he shouted out excitedly. „What do you wanna watch?“
Puzzled, Abel looked at his friend, who pointed with his finger to a shelf, filled with lots of DVDs. „Decide upon a movie while I make us something yummy to drink. You okay with hot chocolate?“ The older boy stood up with a jump, putting his hands on his hips while he was waiting for a response of his guest.
„Hot chocolate is just fine if it's not a bother...“ So Aaron left while humming some song and the blonde boy was alone, trying to pick a movie among all those DVDs.
When the green haired boy came back he found Abel sitting on the bed again, this time with his feet on it as well, making himself comfortable. Next to Aaron's TV he found the disk of the movie Abel picked. „I tried to set it up but I didn't manage to do it...“, the younger one explained.
„I don't know the movie, but it was about Christmas and seemed to be funny so I've chosen it.“ A breathy chuckle followed the words of his classmate when Aaron started the movie after putting the two cups with hot chocolate down on his nightstand next to the bed. „That's fine for me.“
The movie turned out to be pretty romantic as well, not only funny. Abel didn't expect that and it felt weird to watch a movie like that with another guy at his side. Just when this thought crossed his mind, he felt some arms reach around him, pulling a blanket around his body.
The boy twitched at this sudden touch, looking at Aaron with confusion. „You started shivering...“, he explained in a low voice. „I didn't want to scare you!“ A reassuring smile followed his words while he continued pulling the blanket around Abel and offered him a second.
„Really, you don't need to hold back! Just cover yourself in as many blanket as you want or sit the way you feel most comfortable with. I have enough space and blankets and it's no use if you don't feel relaxed.“ The younger boy didn't notice that he had started shivering and looked at the cup of hot chocolate in his hands. The fluid was showing clearly that his hands were uneasy.
„Thank you!“ Abels lips showed a broad smile now, taking the red blanket his classmate covered him in. „Is it okay to share...?“ Aaron asked while he was slipping under his bedsheets to warm up his legs. „Sure.“
„Sooo... Abel. Ever been in a relationship before?“, Aaron suddely wanted to know. The movie was nearing it's end and it was more than noticeable that none of the boys kept paying attention anymore.
„Why do you ask?“ The questioned boy was confused. Why would he bother knowing something as uninteresting as the lovelife of someone as boring as Abel? „Just curious.“ Aaron shrugged, encouraging him to answer the question. „I've never been with someone before...“, the blonde boy mumbled, cheeks flushing red, hiding himself behind his cup which was resting on top of his knees. He didn't like the topic because he always felt like some weirdo for being an everlasting single. Most people his age had at least been intimate with someone.
„You seem to dislike talking about that?“, the taller boy noticed. „Why's that?“ Abel forced out a short laugh. „Don't you also think it is not normal? All people keep on nagging me with the same lines: 'Oooh poor Abel, noone wants you!'or 'If you'd make more out of yourself like your brother does, you could have get some girl fall for you. Noone wants nerds!' and similar...“
Aaron broke out into laughter, filling the whole room with his loud voice of amusement. „'Like your brother does'... What a great comparison. As if this idiot was something to be worth imitating!“ Abel looked up from his cup to turn his head towards Aaron in confusion. „But he is famous among girls!“, he defended his brother, even though he still was angry at him. „He might be – I don't know what for, tho...“
The laughter vanished and the cheerful voice was gone again when Aaron continued to speak. „I truly believe, pure boys like you are more wanted among people, who really mean it.“ Nervously, the green haired boy looked around in his room, searching for fitting words. „You see... if a girl was sincerely interested in Cain... I bet she would lose interest in him when he approaches her like he approaches every hot chick... hopping in bed with her without even bothering to ask for her name – like he did with Isa -, telling her all the things he told tons of other girls as well... you get what I mean?“
The blonde nodded after hesitating a bit. „I think so...“
„Even if Cain went as far as risking a relationship, stopping to fuck around like crazy I in position of the girlfriend would be worried as hell if he really was being honest with his feelings. If he really stopped fooling around... if I was enough for him... - Do you want another cup?“ While talking, Aaron was scooting over to the other side of the bed, standing up and holding out his hand towards Abel, who nodded smilingly.
„I come with you.“, the blonde answered and took the offered hand, which originally was meant for the cup he held, to get help for crawling out of the comfortable bed. The well built boy didn't mind the least, leading the younger one in his kitchen after he stood on his own feet and let go of his hand.
„Where did I stop...? … Ah, right. Why I believe people like you are more interesting for sincere relationships.“ The boys reached the kitchen where Aaron prepared the drinks while Abel was watching him, curious about the next words. „First of all I doubt you would be likely to betray your partner. Second, from my very perspective – I can't really say how others feel about it – I think being the one your partner experiences all those things with for the first time – from holding hands, cuddling, kissing to having sex – is something really precious.“
„I'd love to have someone like you as a partner. I'd love to be the one to experience all those first times with... don't you think that'd be a nicer way of having a relationship like the ones your brother probably has?“
Abel's face turned deep red. For a second it sounded like Aaron was saying he'd like to date him. Was he exaggerating? Missunderstanding? Was he just trying to comfort Abel for bringing up the topic in the first place. Abel was confused and nervous. I bet I just got it wrong... it's impossible for a guy to say he wanted to date another one..., Abel thought, trying to sort the chaotic thoughts driving crazy in his head. Even though he knew his little brother Seth was indeed dating guys, he couldn't believe something like that would happen to himself.
„It... sounds nicer, indeed.“, he brought out of his lips with a shaky voice. „Wh-what about... you?“, the flustered boy decided to ask then. „About having had a girlfriend before?“ He nodded. „I went out with two or three, nothing really serious, tho.“
„We never did more than hanging around in clubs, holding hands and making out... nothing more intimate.“, he despicted the relationships. „I never really felt comfortable enough around them. Besides, I also never felt the desire to touch them like that in the first place.“
„Do you... have someone you like now?“ Abel's nervousness didn't stop, yet he wasn't able to stop asking those questions. Aaron didn't answer right away, because the microwave was signalling it was finished with a loud sound. The older boy took both cups and started moving in direction of his room again. The blonde one followed silently, watching the broad back of the boy walking in front of him.
He must have misunderstood.
Both boys were making themselves comfortable in Aaron's bed again, pulling the blankets around their bodies and holding their steaming cups. „I have fallen for somebody, yes.“, the taller one finally answered, making Abel twitch. „But.. you are not together with her...?“
„It's not that easy, Abel...“, Aaron admitted. „I might be a tall, loud guy, but deep inside I am not as head-on as some might guess...“ He paused a bit, drinking a sip of his hot chocolate, trying to hide his embarrassment. He didn't like talking about his weaknesses, but he wanted to be as open as possible around Abel.
„I am anxious when it comes to those feelings. I'd love to share them, but I am afraid of hurting or getting hurt... Although I don't think the person I am having this feelings for would ever hurt anyone... I just don't want to risk getting turned down...“ The green haired guy took a deep breath, held it for a while before letting it out with a silent, long sigh. „Not this time... not when I am feeling it so deeply like this...“
Abel didn't really want to persist on more information, but he also wasn't able to stop thinking about this situation Aaron was in. „Is there really no chance that she might actually like you back?“, he then asked. „Or... maybe you can ask Isabella for help? … I would help, too, if I can – just tell me!“
„I can't talk to my sis about this one...“, Aaron cut off. „And I can't ask you either... It's just... that I am afraid... … I simply am afraid...“ His whole expression saddened a lot and Abel didn't know what to do at all. He didn't want to create such a mood with throwing back the question he had been asked before. He couldn't have known something like that would happen, right?
Out of cluelessness Abel put his arm around the taller boy's shoulders, trying to comfort him. „I am sorry you feel that way... I'd really love to help you, but can understand and respect if you say you can't trust me enough...“ Aaron turned away his head, his ears getting redder. „It's not about trust, Abel...“
„Anyway... isn't it getting late already?“ The older one carefully put down Abel's arm, taking his alarm clock from the nightstand to get a look at the time. „Do you want to head home or what are you planning?“, he then asked, showing the blonde boy the clock which was showing 11pm.
„I... actually don't want to leave just yet...noone knows if Cain is done already... Apart from that we have quite a nice evening, haven't we?“ Abel truly enjoyed himself at Aaron's flat. Apart from the weird mood they had before everything was so easy and relaxed, he felt welcomed and comfortable there. Thinking about leaving made him feel kind of sad.
„Well... Isa's staying over at Jams' tonight.“ Aaron shrugged. „You know... the redhead on the photo.“ As if Abel had forgotten, the green haired boy pointed with his finger in direction of his desk. „Usually I'd join them since Jams is my best buddy, but I didn't feel like it today. Also, some of Isa's friends are a bit too bold around me, trying to get me in bed... annoying. Anyway, you are free to stay as long as you want – you are more than welcome to.“
It seemed like Aaron's mood had brightened up again. The smile he was giving Abel was full of happiness and his eyes shined like a little kid's when they saw chocolate. „We can watch another movie if you feel like it. Or play some videogame. Or we continue talking about anything coming in our mind - „
„... but please, don't ask anything more about my crush...“
„I didn't bring any clothes with me!“ Abel shouted out when the boys where getting ready for sleeping some hours later. „Well, you didn't plan on staying over somewhere so I didn't expect you to.“, the older one responsed with a chuckle.
„I will lend you something. It isn't the first time for you wearing something from me, so it's no big deal now, is it?“ Abel shook his head. He didn't want to bother Aaron in any way, but the other one didn't seem to mind the least.
„Are you happy that I stayed?“, the younger then asked, while he was watching Aaron stuck with his head in the wardrobe, searching for something the blonde could wear. „I am.“, he said, when he finally found something, thrusting the clothes into Abel's hands and left for the bathroom. „I have a spare toothbrush as well, you can use this one if you like.“
They changed clothes, washed their faces and brushed their teeth before they went back to Aaron's room. The green haired boy got some spare blankets and pillows to make a second bed on the floor in which he planned on sleeping in. „You use the bed, Abel.“, he ordered, „I will sleep on the floor. And before you ask: It really is okay to use my bed and I am fine with sleeping on the floor.“ A broad smile followed.
„If you say so...“ The younger boy didn't want to object but he indeed was about asking if it really was alright to let Aaron sleep on the floor. „Don't worry about me, I will be alright.“, he added and crawled under the blanket. Abel now did the same and the light was turned off.
„Sorry to bring that up again, but...“ The younger boy started to talk again after a while, Aaron just grunted as response, waiting for the boy to continue. „Whoever that person is who you love... if I was that person it would be a waste to turn you down. You are an amazing guy and one could only wish for someone as nice and honest as you to have as boyfriend!“
Abel would never dare to say something like that when the lights were still turned on. But the face Aaron made when talking about his love hurt him so much, he couldn't stop thinking about it. Also, he truly believed that noone could possibly turn someone like Aaron down and he wanted to encourage his friend to be confident of himself.
The older one heard the bedsheets rustling, supposed that Abel just turned around in bed. „Good night!“, he then heard, muffled from the blankets the blonde has pulled over his head. „Good night, Abel.“ A smile hushed over the older boys face, but noone was able to see it.
I want to tell you so badly!, Aaron thought, The words which were bugging me for a while now. Poking me from my insides, wanting me to let them out. But I better have you here as a friend than lose you because of telling you my honest feelings.
Thank you for spending this day with me. Because I had you here, I really was able to be around the person I love the most., his thoughts continued and he drifted off to a nice and restful sleep, filled with dreams about this blone haired guy sleeping in his own bed beside him.
I love you, Abel.